Do you like my poem? (please read)?
It's about how dreams can be anything you want.
Touch the stars that shine at night
Extinguish those flickering city lights
Climb the trees in your backyard
Travel near or very far.
You can go right, you can go left
Visit the fiery dragon’s nest.
Sunken Atlantis and dusty Jupiter
Learn everything there is to learn
Go see Peter Pan in Never Land
Or the 40 thieves in the Arabian sand
A dark, dense forest, black as ink,
Wreck of forgotten ships that sank
Hot as fire of cold as ice,
Have a meeting with tiny field mice
Go wherever that foggy path led,
But when you wake up,
You’re still in your bed!
Hello S,
IMHO, this is pretty good, with moments of dreaminess.
The meter comes and goes, mostly goes. The slant rhyme of 'ink' and 'sank' is OK, but maybe you could go for 'sink' instead.
Overall, I like this very much. It shows imagination and creativity.
Thanks for sharing,
RB
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